The bag has come… it is all starting to feel very real now that I am going to the other side of the world (mwhahaha, sorry just felt like an evil laugh was required there).
So much still to do with this book before I go…. fingers crossed I get it done. But I am quiet worried that I won’t!!!
47 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE THE UNITED KINGDOM
I forgot to take my happy pills today and I can feel the difference. I am out now until late so just going to crack on with it. It isn’t bad, just feel more blar than usual.
My morning daily dose:
1 x big multi vit
2 x krill tablets
2 x garlic tablets
2 x probiotics
1 x 5-hTP
1 x selenium drop
No western medicine or anything like that – just stuff to keep my levels as high as the normal persons should be. Don’t worry I am not going crazy(ier) and over doing it with hanging herbs and witchcraft-like potions!
I need to start working out soon which ones I will be taking travelling with me (woop woop) the 5-HTP for sure!!!!
I swear by that one, if you haven’t tried it give it a go. Nom nom nom, happy pills.
I have woken up, dressed, showered, poured some cereal in the bowl and sat my crazy little (actually not so little) arse down. Sorry for hibernating. I keep doing this – freaking out, finding a distraction, and running in to it with open arms. Life isn’t a romance film though, there is no daisy field to run on. So back to the point, I am sorry. I am going to try and be better – to be more focused. I hate that the focus problem is only a problem because I am sick… before this I was such a focused busy body.
I am going to do my edits today, and reply to the comments!! Sorry sorry sorry. Head down, cracking on.
NO MORE DISTRACTIONS
I only have 67 days until I depart for Aus, I have already had my first freak out. I need to not get attached to anyone properly before I go, I am only 21 and Australia will do me the world of good! I hope… no I do know it will. Well enough people have told me that for me to believe it in my states of freak.
Deep breath, refocus starting now! (Pause for dramatic effect) Okay brain has been rebooted and focusing starts now. It is time to get these edits done. It is time to get myself back on track, to stop being lazy and a classic bum. It is my time to start living again. I am fed up of being lost, waiting for something, waiting to be better, to be happy, to be able to say I am fully okay. From here on I am making it the way it should be.
I am going to pour the milk in my cereal now, eat it, then I am going to do some of these edits. Then I will get back on track with this blog and get it more up to scratch, reply to your lovely supportive comments which I am filled with guilt about due to my slow replied. What an awful blogged I am. Wait, that doesn’t sound so positive and upright any more! I am going to get back on track and fix it :)
Catch ya’ll in a bit x x x
I need to start taking better care of myself and stop being so reckless. Half worried I’m trying to make things bad again subconsciously…
Nip it in the bud. Get back on track!
THE TRUTH IS RARELY PURE AND NEVER SIMPLE.
Oscar Wilde – The Importance of Being Ernest.
That is a quote from possibly my favourite piece of writing, close to:
CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER
Lewis Carroll -Alice In Wonderland
And this one is just a quote I am rather fond of, but still from a great piece of literature:
EVEN THE DARKEST NIGHT WILL END AND THE SUN WILL RISE.
Victor Hugo – Les Misérables
I have sorted my head out.
I no longer feel all confused and messed up, lost and pathetic. I have my ‘shit‘ together again (for now, mwhahah, joking this damn better last this time) :D Go team! All I needed was a little boost, okay it was a bit of a cheeky boost, but hey ho, did the trick!
Just thought I should post a little update, I can see myself using this site more for casual updates between larger postings, I hope that is okay!!
On a side note: really, really struggling to sleep and I DON’T KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!! So annoying. I want to get some of my edits done but just don’t have the motivation. Ah well, looking on the bright side, no longer feeling controlled by the sickness – woooohoooooo.